feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

journaling.....
this is my last week of internship (for medical assistant) at the Docs office. Then I start back at my "real"job at the high school in town on the 9th. As soon as I get my cert. i can start looking for a job. Cant believe I finished the whole process!.. I started the night classes in April, back when we had tentative plans that would enable me to quit the job at the high school and take my time looking for a job at a hospital close to home. Hard to believe how much my life has changed since then..who knew that 4 months later H would be sleeping with someone else and becomeing a person I dont even know...

Im getting to the point that i just want my life back, i want to get back to my usual schedule of running and going to the gym after work, and cooking dinner on a regualr basis and walking the dogs and just living my life...the internship kinda threw a wrench in that a little but I also have spent a lot of time trying to figure out WTH happened and WTH is going on...at this point it doesnt matter anymore. I have been neglecting myself and just want to get back to me.

I started smoking again when all this started and i REALLY need to quit that!!..have set a date and am cutting back (thats how i did it last time) and am going to start training for a run in february. that should get me back at it...

4 months and the D will be final...unbelievable that I will be a single woman again. is there a dislike button on here??????