Adventures in GALing

[AntoniaB]

OMG. That was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have butterflies. All I wrote was "Thank you, and all the same to you :-)"

I drafted like 3 or 4 short and sweet things that all had info about my life or the cats or Christmas, and I thought, you know, I'm trying to say I'm doing well, but (1), he'll take it like I'm bragging, and (2), he'll probably write back and ask questions based on what I had written, and (3), EVERY TIME I give him info about me and it's not his business anymore, and it gets me burned in the end being open with him.

So I told myself "if something doesn't work, then do the opposite." So the opposite was to do EXACTLY what Snodderly said (I had forgotten the exact words but paraphrased it darn close) and hit "send."

I'm thinking "what am I afraid of" and it's this: that he'll think I don't want him anymore. Isn't that crazy? I only want him because he's all I know, I want the him who doesn't exist anymore, and because I'm not fully over him. Those are not reasons to "stand" for someone so deep in replay.

I think I just sent the message that I was honestly really moving on, so even if mentally I've not done it 100%, I guess putting it out there in writing that I am to him is the first step.

And Snodderly interesting on your XH's OW's cancer--my XH's OW's mom died of cancer and it's all in her family. Back when he was singing her praises to me he said he thought he had much to "learn" from her as she was someone who had changed her life to always do what she wanted after she saw her mom die, to never let anyone hold her back. And I said "somehow I don't think that philosophy includes cheating on your long-term live-in boyfriend and stealing another person's husband."