WHG: Down the rabbit hole I guess

[workinghardguy]

Why don't you think that her being healthier will be better for the kids? What you wish is that she were someplace else in her life in which she could do that without separation and possible divorce. I'm sure she'd like that too. She isn't though. You aren't accepting how things are. You merely aren't arguing with her about it. She wants a better life. Her path to that life right now leads away from yours. That is just how it is.

I agree with your comment pretty much 100%... I'm just not sure how I become more accepting. I know that she is done. I accept that she is done. When she slept elsewhere in the house, I didn't care. When she came home at 6am I didn't care. It's not that I didn't argue about it... I genuinely didn't care. When she complained about how hard it will be to afford things on her own I didn't offer one ounce of solution. She goes to her friend's house for hours on end... I don't care.

I do accept that she's done. Maybe I just suck at cutting her off. I don't know. When she starts talking about her realizations of her issues I listen. Why do I do that? I don't know, but I do. At the same time we can be talking about the kids and in two second we're onto some issue she is having.

I wish this was more black and white.