yeah, W and I are going to sep the cell phones. It DOES bother me... but it's all part of this process. I will be then forced to replace my broken phone -- lol. In really emotional times, sometimes I tend to isolate. I've been doing some of that lately. I look at your consistent GAL and it makes me smile
You and S always have something to do that sounds fun!!
W and I are still buying gifts for each other... of course I noticed a BIG pile of gifts in her car today when I got S out for OW! (ouch) But this year i just got W some small things. Will label them from S and the dogs -- noticed she did that for my gifts under the tree. She used to be really creative with the labels -- "to the cutest little elf" from "santa" etc... LOL. those are the weird things I'll miss. Had to have a good cry tonight.
Keep praying I hope you and S have a wonderful and peaceful christmas!!!
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
JB is out in this freezing weather doing some sort of exercise I guarantee it Probably just one of his "SHORT" walks/rides or something that's only say, 20 miles instead of 50
We love you JB
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
Actually I ran 3 miles this morning. I have been busy cooking for adventure tonight. It's been an extremely busy few days. Sorry I haven't been posting much.
Thanks for checking in Rick. Hope you and everyone else had a great Christmas, too.
Just a journal "lite" for me....
My W came over for a couple hours on Christmas morning. It was a little different because my S was the only one who had gifts to unwrap. I guess things aren't just peachy in my W's world. I just listened and validated. I'm so detached these days for the most part that I was just listening as a friend at this point with no expectations. I went to my Mom's side of the family for Christmas after she came over.
I've been off work all week. Trying to maximize my time with my S.
I've gotten some exercise this week. Went for a 8.6 mile bike ride on Monday and a 3 mile run today.
My W and I got into a fight yesterday. I ended up doing a 180 at the end - probably not anywhere close to textbook DB'ing, but I just made her listen to my point of view of where I was when the fight began without her interrupting. I had to stop her from interrupting at least twice. I just politely asked her to listen. What had happened was it was not planned for her to be with my S last night, but she called the house, my S answered, and the next thing I knew she was at the front door. I was visibly upset - she could tell by my body language and the fight ensued. It was actually kind of refreshing in a strange way. We didn't fight much during the time we were together. I was too concerned with walking on eggshells not trying to rock the boat. Now I have nothing to lose. What's she going to do - D me?
My S and I had a good time tonight. We went to a skiing place and did some snow tubing. We were there until 1:00 in the morning. We had a good time together.
I've also been busy this week planning a New Year's Eve party at my house. I am hosting my Tuesday night group from church (a.k.a. the Ladies' group) for New Year's Eve.
It's been a busy few days since I last posted. I had my S until Friday evening last week. My S and I just hung out and enjoyed each other Thursday and Friday. We went out to eat on Thursday night. Friday I took him to Dunkin Donuts.
My W came to pick up my S on Friday night. She just seemed really stressed. She was unable to finish all of her work for that day. I guess her new position at her fairly new job can be stressful.
After my W picked up my S, it was time to swing into action. I went out for a 8.6 mi. bike ride. I needed to prepare for my New Year's Eve party.
Saturday I was able to get out to the bike path and ride 26 miles. It was warm enough to ride, but cold enough to make it an arduous task. On New Year's Eve, I hosted a New Year's Eve party for my Tuesday night Healing Relationships group (a.k.a. Ladies' group). I cooked dinner for 5 women! Definitely out of my comfort zone. We trashed my house with silly string at Midnight. We had a great time!
Sunday I went to church and experienced a great message and a wonderful service. I went out to lunch after church with two of the ladies from my Tuesday night group. In the afternoon, one of the guys from my Thursday night Men's group came over and we watched the Bengals lose, but still back their way into the playoffs. It was nice to have some GAL'ing going on this weekend!
My W dropped off my S late Sunday evening. She also dropped off the Christmas tree she put up at her apartment. I was mildly offended. However, I thought it through. The tree was actually mine from before when we got married. If I don't want it, I can offer it to her, donate it, or sell it. I am not going to be her storage facility, though. My S also mentioned something to me about my W getting a cat and/or a dog. I was offended by that, too, because I was hearing from my S. Also, I have 2 cats and a dog. One of the cats she wanted to adopt and she's the one who wanted a dog in the first place. However, I can't control what she does. By the same token, she can't control what I do, either. So if I don't want the animals, I can do what I want. I'll probably end up keeping them though. The dog kind of cuts into my GAL'ing.
Yesterday my S and I went up to my Mom's house to visit for New Years. When I visit my Mom, she will often encourage me to move on. She'll bring up things about my W in front of my S. Unfortunately, she's not the best person to talk to about my sitch. I think she's still to this day feeling some of the bitterness from her D from my Dad.
This morning, it was brisk 21 degrees outside. No bike riding today. I went for a 3 mile run. We have our first snow cover of the year, and it's just a dusting for the most part.
I think my ambivalence on my situation was shaken a bit last week after my W and I had the fight and a nice dinner afterword. However, I am not at the point right now where I'd want my W to come back without working on getting herself to a better place and/or without showing me a strong commitment to working on things. She has NOT indicated either of those nor has intimated in any way she wants to come back. I also don't want a paper M. However, I am not trying to force anything at this point. My plan is to keep GAL'ing the best I can. I'm praying about it, too, of course. I keep in mind this can take a lot of time and I've been given the gift of time I didn't think I was going to have. I am reminded of how long this can take every time I see 25's signature line.
Happy New Year JB. Enjoy the little dude.. I remember doing tons of stuff when my D was younger. This morning on my way to work I remembered picking her up at aftercare on Wedsnesdays and go to the market and get lunchables for dnner. Or calling in sick and go fishing. W works on Wednesdays. But one day it all stopped? She did not want to do anything other than hang in her room.
You had 5 ladies at your place? You are my hero. Wonder what your W would have i said f she saw them coming in to you place. Great job buddy
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
