Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

Barb,

Yes, my exBF has a "friend" that he brought to church on Sunday. I've been attending the same church as him since we met about 4.5 years ago.

I don't blame everything on him because I have a lot of fault in this current situation. I'll be back later on and I will post a quick recap so you don't have to go back and read it all. Let me spare you that pain! lol

I also DB'd a cheating spouse unsuccessfully, and he and OW are now married. I'm very experienced in facing challenging situations because of the ones they put me through in family and work events (me, ex, and OW all work for the same company). We also share some of the same friends, although I have distanced myself from most of them.

Through it all I became much stronger and better person than I ever knew I could be.

But even with all that experience, going to church on Sunday was not any easier. Although it helped me know that I'd make it through the experience and be okay.

I also know that a lot of what I felt on Sunday was me re-hashing a lot of painful memories from my ex and OW. I think RC knows that too.

The difference this time is that I get to see RC and we talk often. I didn't have that with my ex - once he was gone, encounters and conversations were rare, and often very ugly. And my ex wouldn't lift a finger to do anything for me or our kids, even if I asked. A great example was when I developed gall bladder disease and was very sick. I had surgery to have it removed and he wouldn't do anything for me or the kids. My coworkers, friends, and family helped with meals, groceries, and laundry. That was the last straw for me, because it showed me what kind of man he had become.

Conversations with RC are great and we never fight. I could call him right now and ask for something, and I know he'd be there. When I received some somewhat scary medical news two weeks ago, RC saw it on Facebook and texted me immediately after. He was very comforting.

It is apparent that we love each other very much.

But like you said, when there is a 3rd person involved, there can be no relationship. I kind of wonder if it's the same way on the other end too. If RC is questioning his feelings for me, then the relationship with his new friend, J, can't be too healthy either. In some ways I could easily be the OW in this situation...what a kicker huh? SIGH

Whatever happens, I think we will always be friends. That sounds like a good thing, but it's hard being friends when you love someone. Talk about painful.