Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[MynameisMZ]

When we were where you are now my H told me "the attraction is intense" and that he loved her. After I issued my LRT he remained in a fog and did the very same things your H is doing. Not listening fully, cracking jokes, stonewalling. It was like he just felt he was the cat's meow. He even said to me, "I'm handsome, charismatic." I couldn't believe it and so I replied, "And what am I, chopped liver?" He was just feeling his oats. He had a very tough childhood and I'm convinced it had every thing to do with his A. OW was a bully, a real life grown up "mean girl" and she PICKED him. That is the biggest part. It was HOW she made him FEEL about himself. Those "adoring" eyes....blah blah blah....

And all this was going on while I thought it was only an EA. Actually I couldn't believe it hadn't gotten physical, but I REALLY wanted to believe in my H.

Anyway, speed 18 months later and the fog did lift, OW did move away. He wasn't really coming out of it until she left. So, it really is true that the A really has to be OVER.

I like what Abbey has had to say all though this.. They have "alien brain."

Now, my H cringes when he thinks of her. He is deeply ashamed and now realizes how whacked she was. He can even see how she manipulated him, plotted him against me. Her insidious comments putting me down. He says it was like he was caught up in this fantasy game and couldn't get out.

Listen NB, it's not over. You are in the midst of this. It is critical now that you employ all the DB techniques you can. Did you say you are getting a coach? I know you are doing counseling today, but perhaps a DB coach is the ticket right now......for YOU and you only. He's in that fog....yeah THAT one and you can't compete with ow now. Doesn't mean you won't get your M back, you just really need to know what this part is all about.