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Met some friends there and they approved and ... that means something.

Not sure why. But it does.


Actually, it means a LOT. Sometimes infatuation or pheromones can blind us to our date's poorer qualities - friends can be much more objective.

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Things are going well with her, but there are potential storm clouds on the horizon. She's twice divorced, both guys she married (she says) were alcoholics who cheated on her.

Well, I'm not an alcoholic and I've never cheated on anyone.


Twice divorced by 41 - well, not that unusual. But married TWICE to alcoholic cheaters? I'd be interested in knowing her history, and why the alarm bells didn't go off with that second one. (Did she grow up with an alcoholic, so it felt familiar? Did she used to drink too? Does she have terrible self esteem?) In her defense - I have a perfectly sane intelligent girlfriend, who grew up in a family where her alcoholic uncle was the interesting, fascinating member of the family. Her first big love in her twenties was with an Irishman from Brooklyn who turned out to have a drinking problem. She eventually left him, but has an unerring knack of picking guys who turn out to be ex-alcoholics or active drinkers. She hasn't been with another active alcoholic - but that early imprinting causes her to find certain guys attractive that I wouldn't give a second look to. In all my years of dating, I don't believe I've ever dated a single alcoholic. Completely different radar.

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We've talked about hockey tickets so I can meet her 14-year-old son who is a hockey fan. And we've talked about perhaps her meeting the girls in March at D12's next play.


I don't get why the rush to meet each other's kids. I firmly believe kids should not have to get involved in their parent's dating lives - what if they get attached to your girlfriend, then you break up? They don't need any more loss. I don't see the need for either of you to meet the kids until you are really positive this is going to be a long term relationship - and after just four dates, it's silly to be even discussing it.

(I've been dating a guy for 6 months, and have yet to meet his 9 year old daughter - and frankly, I'm not sure it would be appropriate even now).

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A friend of mine who is divorced told me "divorced women can be stage-4 clingers" and DHU-41 already has said she's "falling" for me.


Well - I wouldn't ASSume that just because a woman isn't coy about admitting she really likes you, that that translates into her being clingy. She might just be really honest!

BUT - a woman who has had two alcoholic cheating husbands OUGHT to be a little more cautious about her next guy - if she's willing to jump headlong into things before she knows you very well, she might be lacking in judgment. Is she self-sufficient? Or does she need a guy to rescue her??

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Really, my schedule is so full I can't fit much more in than seeing her once, perhaps twice a week.


I would be thrilled if my current guy was seeing me once or twice a week, instead of once or twice a month! lol. That seems like an entirely reasonable date frequency for two parents with children at home.

Take your time. No rush!