I took a huge step last night and blocked myself from being able to go look at OW's facebook, and her friend's facebook on which she constantly writes on her wall. Today is the first day that I haven't gone to look or read about what is going on in OW's life. I know that from what I read the other day, she is back in the states and is in town with her friends and family. Apparently she came back early. When I read this, my heart sank. Then the fears took over and I started thinking.... what if he finds out? What if he contacted her? What if what if...
As I was sitting there feeling all of that spinning around, h walks in and says "Let's get a pizza and a movie" and was doing his funny dance lol. And earlier that day we prayed together for our relationship, and so I thought.... you know, I'm just NOT going to let this fear win out today. Usually when I feel fearful about something, h has told me he wants me to talk to him about it so we can work on that. But just today, I didn't want to let OW and fear win over the happiness we both are feeling.
H has told me a few times, he doesn't want to think about ow, doesn't care about what she's doing.... and wants the memory of what happened last summer to go away. He knows that I'm still healing and it will take time...but if he has let her go, I need to let her go.
Frankly, I'm tired of reading about her life, looking at her face, and wondering what H ever saw in her to begin with. She's not the most attractive woman... and she seems boring :X I'm tired of trying to figure out what it is he saw in her. It just seems pointless anymore and .... I hate feeling stalkerish just reading her business. Even if it is on the internet and made public.
