thought I would feel better, get things off of my chest and my W would have a light bulb moment. Well either someone turned off the electricity in the house or the freak'n light bulb was broke because that never happened
This is a favorite sunshine quote of mine.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Happy new year sunshine. Body image issues svck. No matter how good people tell u look u just don't believe them? But surfing sounds like fun. So have a good one today
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Well Sunshine, I can understand the body image issue. My weight loss began 2 1/2 years ago. I have now lost 76 pounds. From size 20 jeans to size 10. I still have some to go. And I still have a hard time looking in the mirror.
Even though 4 days in a row someone told me I had a great behind! (2 men and 2 women, I'm doing something right!) People see me who I haven't seen in years and they don't recognize me. Funny.
I lift weights 3 times a week, yoga 2 times a week and now Stand Up Paddleboard 2 times a week. It is my highest priority. And the yoga class is especially hard. I see everyone elses reflections, they seem so lithe and graceful.
I tried surfing a few times now. I used to be a little afraid of it, but lately I am braver and braver. I was on a long board, and that will wear you out quick. I never stood up, but paddled out and was able to climb back on the board after repeatedly getting slammed off by the waves.
Anyway if you get a chance try SUP. It is a total workout, gets you out on the beautiful water, and is a little easier on the body.
So now I got an old Johnny Cash song in my head. It was called "One Piece at a Time." We should rewrite it as a DB song. It is a comedy song about how he worked at the Cadillac factory and stole one piece at a time and built his own free car. Took him 25 years.... or so. Patience. And it took a lot of work to fit all the parts together. Some adaptor kits and such.
Sorry, I have a weird brain.
Have a great day!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
So happy to see you making a steps towards your happiness!! Don't get discouraged if you have a backslide, just promise yourself to get up again and keep going
I think most women have body image issues, it stops us from putting ourselves out there ad try new things. I'm inspired by your plan to start surfing (you couldn't pay me enough to put on a wet suit right now!)
I really liked your statement about not getting in your own way..... I'm going to have to apply that to my life as well!
Looks like the new year brought some new inspirations to you.... This could be the year of the Sun
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Wow Wen, congratulations on your weightloss!!! That is absolutely amazing.
I tried SUP once and I did enjoy it so I definetely need to get back out there again. I was extremely surprised at how much strength it required.
I love all of your references to songs Patience is something I have struggled with all of my life. I really don't know how some of the people on this board have hung in there so long. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have it in me to keep fighting especially when my W seems to be pulling so hard in the other direction.
Hey Purg, well unfortunately I understand that I am getting in my own way, but I can't seem to keep my damn mouth shut lately.
I am hoping to get back some of the inspiration that I was feeling yesterday. Sometimes it honestly feels like I am losing my mind. How is it possible to feel calm and strong one day and totally in the dumps the next?? I am beginning to feel more and more like I need to move out in order to protect myself from getting hurt anymore.
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
One of my internal rules is to wait on all my decisions. I have been sorry everytime I make a decision and implement it right away. Trying really hard to take it slow and easy.
Yes, those folks doing SUP look like they are just lazing along. I love mine. It makes my car look like a kids toy when it is strapped on top!
Take a deep breath, or two everytime you talk to her. Use that time to think about what you are going to say. And most of all, just don't say most of what you want to say.
It is working with my H. I am too much of a talker.
I hope your day gets better.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Thanks Wen, that is really good advice and I am so happy for you that you are seeing changes in your husband!
Journal: I just recently did one of the most selfish/thoughtless things that I have ever done and my W is crushed and wants me to move out.
My W's father passed away about 1.5 years ago. He had a 14 year old beat up car that he used to get him to where he needed to go. His hobby was tinkering with cars. In this particular car he had attached some kind of a vaccuum gauge to the dashboard with this big metal strap.
I just recently started driving this car because I got rid of mine. I had to take it to the mechanic last week and while I was there I asked him to remove the gauge because it was ugly and embarassing. I did not ask my W's permission first. My W found out about it yesterday when she got in the car. She is totally crushed that I did that and she feels like she lost a part of her dad. I can't believe I was so selfish. I know what it is like to lose a parent and how special everything they touched is.
I have apologized and told her how selfish it was, but I know there is nothing that I can do to make it better. Now she wants me out of the house.
Should I try to get out quickly so that maybe she is able to process through her anger and hurt? Should I try to stay in the house for as long as possible and just stay away from her? I really don't know what to do or say at this point.
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
Is there a way to have the mechanic re-attach the gauge? Apologizing to her and acknowledging what you did is good, but maybe if she sees some action. After that, give her space and let her process the feelings. I don't think I would leave, just give her space.
I'm sorry, I can tell you are feeling really bad about it.
