WAW told me she idoesn't want to be married.

[25yearsmlc]

25 Thank you for the recomendation for the class I will look into it later on today. Money is tight but hopefully I can do it.

I didn't put much thought into the gift for my W cause I didn't want to go overboard.

because? B/C you thought it would come off as pursuit? Or to punish or what? It actually sounds as if you DID put thought into it...and chose Not to get her much...




I can usually shop no problem for my W. I can walk into any store and I know I will find something that I like she will love. I can dress her from head to toe and know she will like it.

so when times are good, you are good at gift giving...are there other things you are good at when times are good

that you are NOT so good at when times get hard?


I guess because of everything I was affraid to go overboard. As well as not reaping the benefits of what I got for her.

2 x 4 time

THIS^^^ SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU THAT IS NOT GOOD...think about it...and all the stuff I said to you about the EE workshop, is b/c at a fundamental level

you do NOT behave or seem emotionally appropriate for a man your age AND in this situation...

something is STILL not clicking with you


TThe funny part with my W was her mom giving her her present and she opened them, then pulled her mom aside and asked if she did something for me.

Witz you have been seeing a T for sometime now...what is HIS diagnosis?
Does the T seem to help you?

What would your w say about it?

If you don't mind my asking, seems you have some underlying issues having nothing to do with your w BUT that have probably affected her


Can you tell me some more about YOU and YOUR 180s? Specifics...things you WILL DO

not just mistakes you'll avoid...b/c for the life of me I just still feel like you are skimming the surface of your role in this

or at least what you post here. And yet you are quick to feel and express anger at her, often.

I don't sense a profound remorse in you for your role in getting here, yet your other comments suggest you have been less than an ideal h.

I'm sorry to say this but the success stories here are not frequent BUT They do outnumber the success stories of couples in trouble who do NOT DB b/c they stay in their old patterns

and rehash the past, never letting it go AND never learning from it.

But the success stories here, always include the LBSer changing themselves...

taking a brave DEEP look inside...and facing some things that are tough to face but doing it anyhow...

and changing THEMSELVES

without regard to "getting their reward from the WAS".

There are never guarantees in love or life. Never a sure thing...

Becoming the men/woman we are meant to become, IS a reward in itself...

I hope you'll take that look within and do the work YOU need to do on YOU.

That workshop is especially good for folks like you b/c it is a safe supportive environment

and if you have been going to a T for years now and

still can't dig deep enough to change, (b/c when you write about your role in this, it sounds like you are scratching the surface very superficially)

whenever you concede a flaw you follow it with a justification AND OR an attack or snide remark for your w.

So I sincerely do hope you'll take that mirror and stare awhile...

they say "the real journey in Life is an inward one."

Do you know what I mean?

good luck Witz, I wish you well...