Peter, as someone who went through one crazy rollercoaster ride after the bomb, discovered an A that I never thought my H would have and ended up in Piecing despite my doubts about being able to get past an A (can't say that it's easy though!), I do have the ability to look back and see what worked and what didn't.
I'm going to echo lc4, I'd go dark. You're already on your way to detaching (I think) so that's a start. Looking back, I realize that when I started pulling away, my H got scared and started realizing everything he had to lose. And his poor choices were staring him straight in the face. He's also confirmed this so I know it's not my imagination. Detach, Peter. Let her do what she's going to do and stop reacting.
If you can't detach, then be as wonderful as possible for the next few weeks. You can commit to a short period of time and if that works, commit to a few more weeks. It will give you power to stop reacting to her and if you do reconcile you will have less resentment to overcome because you will be focused on making yourself happy. Your W has to really experience the results of her poor choices to see what she has to lose and she's only to do that if you stop reminding her.
