feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

this is my dilemma abs..
I have decided and made it clear to H that I am not interested in having any kind of relationship other then parenting S14 as long as he is living the choices he has made.
As long as he is seeing the woman he decided to sleep with in our bed im not interested in being "friendly" and obviousely no matter what he says, neither is he.
I am civil and polite if neccesary...if not I just dont respond..im doing the dark think as best I can with S14 involved.
My outlook on it is this, He is pushing the D, it will be final in May...He has made it clear that he is not interested in working on any kind of reconcileation with me so what is the point of looking for attempts on his part at anything...and I dont understand that fact that he cant even be civil so the dark thing spares my feelings (so i keep telling myself but thats obviouse that is not true...i try)
I would love to be able to say that there has been glimpses of him comeing around but there has not been...as far as the OW, if we were divorced and he found a "girlfriend", well that would be different...but this woman slept with my H, in our bed, in our house that was obviousely a house that a woman was still partially living in...all my things for the most part were still there...and she had no problem setting up shop with her toothbrush. And obviousley he is to blame also as he had no problem bringing her into our former home and letting it happen.
I cant be friends with someone who continues to hurt me the way he does...
I dont know if that is rational...i just know its the best I can do right now. maybe with time I will feel different but for now I have a hard time even looking him in the eye without pictureing them together so I avoid having to do that at all cost.
I dont know what the text about giving me a ride was all about...i mean really??? we dont even speak and Im going to call you for a ride home after you presume ive been drinking...i dont think so...and he knew it...
He is confuseing to say the least and at best he is downright cruel to me so I dont know how to keep that door open, as much as I want to...i just dont know how...