Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[labug]

What were your consequences? Without consequences, you're just hoping.

It is very important to set consequences that we are willing to enforce. If you are setting boundaries in a relationship, and you are not yet at a point where you are ready to leave the relationship - then don't say that you will leave. You can say that you will start considering all of your options including leaving - but do not state that you will do something that you are not ready yet to do. To set boundaries and not enforce them just gives the other person an excuse to continue in the same old behavior.

Don't set a boundary back, unless you like that game. You have a boundary that protects you, there is a consequence, you enforce the boundary. That's always the hard part.

This is tough stuff, I struggle with it too.