The not so Waste Land

[2thepoint]

Man, really sorry to hear this! So what triggered the D discussion? Did it have anything to do with you feeling like things are in limbo, only getting breadcrumbs, etc.?

"She hates to see me twisting in the wind; doesn't have those feelings; doesn't know if they will come back. Doesn't want me to wait."

Harrier, I'm not at the piecing stage yet, (hope to be but not there yet) but it seems to me that piecing is a very long and laborious process. Extreme patience and care would seem to be a key attribute in this phase of the R process.

You both had a fantastic Christmas holiday so it would appear that there is something to build upon. Doesn't your W see that? Do you?

Don't you have a MC session coming up in a few days? What do you hope to accomplish?

I know you have concerns regarding logistics for childcare if you were to go to Retrovaille sooner rather than later. Have you considered making the sacrifice of flying in support so you can get in the program? Are there other alternatives? I mean, time seems to be of the essence in your sitch, so maybe it would be worth it to see if you could make it work.

I don't know what all is going on in the dynamic between you and your W but I think that DB principles still apply, even during piecing. So, if you are feeling the need to pursue or pressure, even if it is subtle, it is probably best to stop.

It sounds as if your W may be reacting to some perceived pressure she is sensing and if that is the case, you may actually be sabotaging your own efforts in ways you don't even realize.

My best advice is to try to SLOW IT WAY DOWN. Manage things as if you are still living away from home. How would you be acting around your W? What type of GAL activities would you be involved in? Did you stop? What about your 180's? Any slippage there? Are there any new 180's that might be worthwhile implementing?

I wish you well and hope you are able to continue to work at this, as difficult as it obviously is.