WLA, Thank you for your kind words on my board. Whilst I'm home and spending time with my sister and mom, I completely get that the holidays have different meaning outlook.
Sorry to hear about your mom. She'll be in my prayers.
I haven't been in your situation so take my advice with a pound of salt....
... I know it's hard having your wife around your mom and you.. especially seeing that you are reaching a part in the D process that brings out the anger.. in both of you.
But you have to keep the two separate. No matter the outcome, this is not about your w or you, it is about your mom.
If she takes comfort in your w's presence OR if she has chosen to love your w by placing your w's needs above her own......
... than honor her wishes. Because clearly she is a good woman.
And if for some reason the good Lord decides to take her home, than let her last memories of you be... of a loving son who in a moment of crisis.. chose to uphold his mother's beliefs and show love to someone who was currently being unlovable.
I can not speak for your mom but my mom cries when she sees my good deeds or my turning of the cheek.. even to my wife. To her.. there is no greater gift to her than to know that she raised a loving daughter.
I expect the same to ring true for your mom.
And although I may not know exactly what you are going through, I DO know that if you continue to be loving.. that you will have no regrets in this whole experience. You loved your mom through this process to put her needs above yours. You loved your wife through this process by giving her the opportunity to spend time with a person who means alot to her. You loved yourself because no matter the outcome, you will be proud of your actions and will not have to "live" with any regrets.
It's not easy.. but IMHO real love isn't or everyone would do it....
...but you are good, loving man WLA. Now is the time to shine.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
