I'm sorry an OM was confirmed. It's gut wrenching for sure.
I know it's easy to think for you to think that you were a fool, but how would you rather of acted?
Would you have rather dropped her like a bad habit and let her fend for herself?
Forget about what we all suggest you to do... would doing something different at the moment made you feel like a better AC or a jerk?
It's a hard question to answer.. especially when we are feeling emotions such as anger and hurt... but if you can let the dust settle and look at yourself (which might take awhile).. things will become more clearer.
For example - if you did it out of love - then who cares? Who cares if you didn't get the outcome you thought you deserved or that your ego was hurt in the process? Love is supposed to be without conditions.
Being a loving person is never wrong.... It's just not easy to define. It's not black or white... It's not always popular.. and alot of things can look like "love".
I did alot of similar things thinking it was "love".. but it turned out to be out of fear - or being a doormat.
I have learned to love my wife differently. I wouldn't say that I love her less.. just different. But I do know that I love myself more.
Give yourself a break. If you have come to realize that how you have been loving her wife aka.. taking care of her.... was NOT or is NO LONGER what you feel is the loving thing to do then realize that it was NECESSARY step for you take in order for you to move forward.
I know this is hard.. but you are coming to some good realizations. Growth unfortunately do not come w/o pain and that my friend does NOT make you a fool.. it makes you very brave.
Continue to vent here. We'll be here to help you through it.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
