Labug: I still don't understand your distinction between setting boundaries and having expectations. If you set a boundary you "expect" it to be respected, right? What's the difference? It just seems to be another way of stating a need. Please expand.
You can expect it but it may not happen. What you can expect is what you can control, which is your reaction to what the other person does. If they respect your boundary, you can offer positive reinforcement or do nothing.
If a clearly set boundary is breached, the expectation is that you will follow through with whatever consequence you set. Boundaries are useless if they are not protected.
Perhaps this thread Boundaries will make it clearer.
Good luck.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
