Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[Accuray]

Thanks Greenblue,

I still don't think you have my W quite identified yet. She doesn't pick fights with me, she rarely does something specifically to get a rise out of me. The dynamic is more that she's insensitive. She says or does things without really thinking about their impact. It's more of a lack of compassion than malice.

My W tends to choose the sadness over the fight. She also does not describe herself as emotionless and she does not direct her anger at me, its more like I get hit by the shrapnel.

She told me tonight that she doesn't want to be open and honest because when she is she risks upsetting me. She says that its easier for her to be unhappy than for me to be unhappy. I pointed out that it doesn't always need to be a tradeoff, that if we discuss it we can find middle ground.

Captain, I thought about your suggestion of ceasing sexual overtures. Since we have the agreement that she initiates, I couldn't do it without discussion. I told her we should eliminate sex until Valentines Day and focus on other elements of the relationship. She was very uncomfortable with that but I insisted.

We will see what happens, I hope it relieves pressure and expectations for both of us. It's a sacrifice but feels worth it.

Accuray