I'm all alone and feeling weird. I'm not depress, not angry, not sad, not happy. I'm confused. I got all dressed up to go out and didn't have the courage to go by myself. I drove around town and came right back. All i could think about was at the beginning of all this, i did go out, 3 times, and felt out of place. I felt like i didn't belong. It was so bad that the last time, i didn't even tell my friends i was leaving and went home. I apologized to them the next day. I don't drink and i don't like crowds.
Earlier, i was feeling resentful because my kids are not here but i stoped my way of thinking and realized that if they were here, i would still feel resentful because xh wouldn't be with them. Would i want xh here with us? NO WAY! I accepted the fact that i have to compromise. I calmed myself down. D16 is celebrating with her friends.
Tomorrow, i'm going to my camp. I want to make a fun day for us, there, when they get back ( Jan 2 ). I have to go shovel the snow and split some firewood. Luckely, it is suppose to be mild.
On that note, i'll go read a book. I wish you all the best!
