That inability to trust, have some faith, and let go of my heart is one of the biggest reasons I am here again.
Oh, that is the trick, isn't it, Mal?
I find in SOME ways dating is easier - after all, the WORST that could happen to me (being left by my beloved husband of 24 years) has already happened. Compared to that, what's the big deal about being dumped by a boyfriend? I find I am more fearless in my romances in some ways - I'm not needing marriage, or financial support, not rearing any more children - so my needs are simpler and I have more faith that if one guy doesn't work out, another will be along soon.
On the other hand - I'm definitely WAY more suspicious, and probably overly prone to pushing someone away if I fear that they are not going to be "safe" to give my affections to.
My current boyfriend has a very busy stressful life and is a very poor communicator (in the sense that he seldom calls or texts). When we were first dating, I didn't understand him, and jumped to the assumption that he might be married or seeing other women (he wasn't). Then I assumed his inaction meant he just wasn't that into me (he WAS). I even broke up with him at one time (he accepted responsibility, waited patiently, didn't see other women, and won me back over with his sincerity - and total yumminess ).
I guess my point is - I'VE been the main problem in our relationship, because I've been so afraid to trust that something this good could be real. I've been so busy looking for red flags (and yes, we SHOULD be on the lookout for them) that I've been creating drama where there is no need for it.
).