Hi Everyone! Starting a new thread- getting close to the max on the old one ( Need HOPE & advice)
Thanks for all of the great advice, talking me off of the ledge and keeping me fairly sane during these tough times. Have a great New Year! Stay safe,DB & lets vow to have a better 2012!
P.
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think so many of us on this board are feeling sad all over again... I've come to the conclusion that it's the fact that a new year is about to start and it's a sad reminder that we still don't know what our future holds and we have a new life to learn.
Glad to see that you're making plans with your kids for the celebration- you're W will miss out on a good time!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Keep up the good work. My feelings of despair come and go. Glad to hear you are normal. I would have guessed you were.....
My grandkids are keeping me happy. I am trying to enjoy all the time I get with them. If I move back to the mainland I will miss them most.
I have also been doing a lot of exercise. Yoga class is my new favotrite. Except last night in the meditation part the instructor was having us think about being more compassionate and loving to others. And my problem is I need to learn how to harden my heart more.
Hope you have a nice new year!
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Today we are telling the kids. My W still wants a D... I'm doing my db thing and trying to avoid arguing with her. She said that she doesn't have it in her - no more desire to make our M work. She works pt but has a huge new apartment... I don't know how I will pay for ALL of the expenses...mortgage, rent, cars etc. Sometimes I really hate her for what she is doing to our whole family. Can there really be any hope left? She really is selfish and heartless... Do these situations ever reconcile?
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hi Perseverance, I am so sorry that you have to break the news today. That has to be absolutely heartbreaking. I will be thinking about you.
Does your wife know how much of a financial strain she is putting on you? Is there anyway she can start working full-time? It sounds like she is reaping all of the rewards of being divorced.
As far as hope goes, I know how incredibly difficult it is to be hopeful when everything around us looks hopeless. I definetely do not have the answers, but maybe we need to find a way to be hopeful about our futures regardless of whether our spouses are there or not.
Try to hang in there and I will send some peaceful thoughts your way.
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11
I think you should only pay for your own stuff. She needs to figure out the apartment herself. You can tell the kids that you are going live in different places but do not mention divorce. Hang in there
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I think you need to have a serious talk about money with her. I think this falls under protecting yourself. You can DB all day, but paying the bills is important.
My H and I are still in the same house, because we know we can't afford to live apart. Does she normally pay the bills? Does she know how much it costs monthly to maintain your household?
Hope you get things worked out.
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Having a nice day & night with the kids. W will spend the afternoon with us tomorrow. Kids took the news well- they will still live in the same house and will still have mom & dad... Just that mom n dad won't live together. Crazy, I supported W to get PHD ... Sacrificed etc. I can still pay for everything- it will be tight though.My civilian career is pretty decent usually ( financial services) Eventually she will work FT. Trying to be optimistic. Still working on self improvement... But W seems to think R is dead. She says that she loves me, but won't give it a chance. She may come to my IC Appt ... Not MC, just my normal C - maybe it will help give the C some insight. I know that there are worse sitch's... Just praying that we can reconcile. Trying not to believe all of what she says... But her actions are so #%^*# hurtful
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever your time frame for R is, it takes longer.
I have my dark dark days but DB is the only way I will get my marriage back. I have to fake it on some days so I fake it. Other days I am more upbeat. Just take it one day at a time. SOmetimes one minute at a time.
There are people less fortunate than us. Whose kids arent healthy. We need to remember what we have.
Look the Giants beat the patriots in the super bowl a few years ago, seriously who would of thought that. Dont trust the odds. You can win!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Thanks B Happy NewYear Pretty rough football reference : ) - I'm a NewEnglander.... Almost sent W a text wishing a HappyNewYear, but I think that I'll work on detaching more. Maybe someday she'll realize what a great guy I am Take Care P
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
