W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[ANS]

Sorry to hear you're wearing out, Snowman. It's terribly wearing!

It's hard to try to do the right things without analyzing. Catch-22!

FWIW, I concentrate almost entirely on my autistic son. Add being the primary bread winner, and a demanding job, the GAL technique is virtually out of the question for me.

But those two things do keep my mind occupied, and stop me from dwelling on my M.

Personally, I don't try to hide the fact that I miss my W. I do, however avoid making an issue of it. I do avoid talking about it, even to friends. And I absolutely stopped analyzing the why's and the wherefores.

I find that my W has twisted so many things around in her analysis of me (including some very hurtful help from a councelor), that I can only conclude that if I analyse W, I'll very likely be wrong too.

My anniversary is on January 4th and I'm not sure what I should be doing there. Should I do anything or not?

That’s a tricky one. Despite my comments to detach and stop second-guessing your W, this is a situation where you have to deviate from the course a bit. My best advice is to try to figure out how it would be received by your W. If you do decide to do something, keep it small. You really can’t afford to do anything that would be perceived as pursuing.

I will do some thinking on the why she fell in love with me back then but I will say things and circumstances have definitely changed not just during this ordeal.

Yep. It’s a moving target, and not just post-bomb. When considering 180’s, you have to consider that it cannot smell of persuit. Some safer 180’s might include things you did outside of your R that may have attracted W to you. Maybe activities that you already engaged in, and your W joined later?

Its all just backwards which I know is typical from all the posts I have read around her. Sorry just venting I guess.

Venting is one of the reasons for this board. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but it’s better to vent here than to W!