WHG: Down the rabbit hole I guess

[workinghardguy]

I'll admit I was a bit apprehensive about this morning. I didn't know what to expect. A large part of me was concerned that, with the pretense of "for the kids" gone it was going to be a return to the bad, bad days, or that with this stress issue out in the open and a date set we could move to a better place between us.

W was in a great mood and her and I interacted better than we have in a long time. Like all the stress was gone. She even shared some fears and concerns; it's been a while since she exposed herself in this way.

We talked about last night. She apologized for dropping the date bomb on me the way she did, and I apologized for losing control of my emotions. We talked about how to tell the kids, more to come on that. We talked about my swimming idea and she agreed to it and thought it was a very good idea. To put our words (that we are friends, will still be mom and dad, and can still be a family just differently structured) into action right away so the kids can see it's not just smoke.

She revealed that she's struggling with the housing issue. That 3 bedroom places are more than she can swing. That perhaps she'll have to get a two-bedroom and get a pull-out couch for herself. That will get old fast, but I didn't react. I just said that people do what they have to, and that it is frustrating that rents in our town are so high (we're right near a military installation and the BAH rates drive up rents). I did give her a tip on the "secret" rental listings that the Army has through their housing office which are only available to Army personnel (many landlords in our town don't even bother to advertise, they simply list directly with post housing). I used to have an AKO login to get to them, but my contact left so my login died. However she works with enough Guard and Reservists that someone can access it for her.

We also talked about some logistics stuff that's been bugging me. On nights she works I will have SS, SD, and S with me. Maybe at my house; maybe at hers. But ultimately we have to end up at her house for bedtime, right? Well, W said she was fine with kids sleeping over here from time to time if need be... which I would like. And she was fine with me having S spend the night at her house on "my nights" and not having an issue as it relates to overnights and child support.

Anyway... this is a long way of saying that as heartbroken as I am at least I feel like this can work. I don't know about recon or all of that. But right now my focus is on a "functioning" family unit post divorce (whatever that terms means exactly). The more functional we are the less damage and impact we will have on the kids.