Thanks for the responses. I know alot of people have it way worse than I do. I just want to get the the point that if the ex did drop the ball as far as paying child support/alimony it would only be a dent in my savings account. He can't do anything about the retirement thats all mine. My job right now is at a large daycare-ages 6 weeks to teen. As long as I'm at work my d can attend free. Huge bonus right now, and for a couple of years. However like I said previously the pay fluctuates and since it is a nonprofit they squeeze pennies until they scream. Totally understandable. However getting extra hours is like pulling teeth. I would prefer to work a different field anyway so trying to get a full time position would involve a lot of training I don't feel is worth it. I do have a 4 year degree in business studies. So I am looking for positions that would be useful in though I don't have experience in that area yet. It would have to be entry level. As far as parenting. I wish we could co-parent but we didn't even do tht while we were married. He almost never put any input into anything. When he did he didn't back it up with any action. For example, he would tell the kids or me that they needed to study for an hour after school. Then he would leave it to me to enforce it. We didn't discuss it and he didn't do anything but resent the fact that I wasn't always following his directions. Even now he started off after the divorce having my youngest doing all these extra things like writing her alphabet every time she was there. I haven't heard otherwise but I think he has already stopped doing that and I know he hasn't been keeping up with her reading assignments because he hasn't posted an entry in her log for over a month. I don't feel its my job to point any of this out to him anymore I just take care of what needs taken care of when she is here which is most of the week so that works out fine. However, he is doing a hideous job with my oldest d. She wanted to stay with whoever was staying in the marital home, which was him. I might have ridden out staying there until she graduated but he started bringing the girl "friend" around three weeks after the divorce (he was in the apartment over the garage)so I had to get out of there. If I'd known what would happen after I moved I would have tried harder to stay. Anyway, he lets her spend every weekend at her boyfriend's which is just a terrible example to set for her and her sister and also it shows how little he actually cares about them now. Everything is about him. So,yeah,co-parenting not an option in my opinion.
