What else could I have done?

[25yearsmlc]

GAL


d, e and g are redundant and non specific BUT they are among the MOST IMPORTANT ones you have there, b/c you need more and new people in your life.

It's crucial.

So I'd get detailed plans about HOW and when you WILL do this, and start by joining or attending a class or group THIS MONTH...at least one a week, if not more.

Taking care of your body is great. And did you quit drinking too? IF so keep that up. If not, consider it.

I Love the "dressing better". It shows even more on a man when he has some style. Down the road, maybe

ask your d's for advice on selection, esp if they like shopping and

you'd be letting THEM TEACH you something...

And wear some cologne if you are alright with it. That's a personal thing I LOVE on a man, but maybe that's just me. I loved it when I was young too...always bought boyfriends cologne and my h too...again, maybe something to ask the girls.


Since you know actions speak louder than words, have FEWER words and be clear about what actions you want to take

NOT merely things to avoid, like not losing your temper, obviously.

meaning, Try to get a 'TO DO" list as opposed to simply a "Things NOT To Do"...we tend to know what our negative parental models showed us but what we often

lack, are positive role models. So in times of crisis - we revert to what we grew up with and that's not a legacy you want for your kids is it?

How would you feel if you son told his kids, 20 years from now, that he mistreated and hurt them b/c of what he learned from you?

But With your newly made plans and the new you, INSTEAD

you will leave a legacy of redemption and forgiveness and perseverance for your children...

even when it was so hard...

what a gift for them from YOU!

See if you can meet a mentor for YOU to model after. He may not be a brilliant professor but if he's a great dad, learn from him how to handle the tough situations. (When I was 16, my friend was driving and crashed. Though we had beer in the car-illegal-we had not YET been drinking so it wasn't a factor and none of us was hurt. My dad would have lost it. But my friend's dad came, running from 4 blocks away in his robe and hugged all of us and checked to see if we were alright. He said "There is no excuse for the beer in the car but we'll discuss that later b/c I'm just grateful no one was hurt."

25 years later OUR SON was in a similar situation and I said the same words...

it's crucial to know what GOOD parents do in tough times...

((( )))