W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

I have been working on me. I have been the best father to my S that I can be. I have spent as much time as possible with him.

I will brainstorm on the 180's to think of some more.

I will say I'm growing very tired of this and not sure how much longer I can go or want to go.

My anniversary is on January 4th and I'm not sure what I should be doing there. Should I do anything or not?

It's hard not to backslide when your W continues to drive you crazy by being so erratic. I have been working on detaching but the more I do the more I want a D.

I for sure need to not analyze so much especially sense I'm an analytical person. That is hard when so many know about us since it is hard to hide a missing W.

I will do some thinking on the why she fell in love with me back then but I will say things and circumstances have definitely changed not just during this ordeal.

This situation is wearing me out. I want to be able to relax just once and enjoy myself which is part of the detaching I know. Sometimes I just feel like a pacifist that tip toeing around hoping not to anger the beast and wonder to myself why do I have to live like this. It's like you have to walk on water for my W or something. Its all just backwards which I know is typical from all the posts I have read around her. Sorry just venting I guess.