Too little, Too late.

[purgatory]

H is at his dad's (some of you may remember his interesting morals on M and D)...so his communication with me has been minimal. The fact that he changes so drastically when he's around his dad, makes me wonder what's going on over there... but I know that I can't change it- so I shouldn't waste my time worrying.

Is anyone else really depressed/irritated about the fact that you won't get a New Year's kiss? My H is going out with his brother and I'm so afraid that he's going to get drunk and start passing out kisses like they are tissues! It makes me sick to my stomach.

I'm going to admit to a dorky vice.... I love musicals! I was in 6 of them growing up and was originally a musical theater major in college. I watch them to make me feel better and I usually end up singing and dancing along.... alone in my room (that's the pathetic part!)
My current pick-me-up has been Mama Mia (I saw it twice on broadway and like the movie too)... there's 2 songs that have brought me to tears, and they never have before (It's kinda cool to see how age/maturity and experience can make you approach a familiar scenario in different ways.) Anyways.... the songs are about longing for a lost love- sound familiar?! They really speak to me right now, so bear with me while I share some snipits with you (feel free to put in your copy of the movie and sing along, lol)
S.O.S:
Where are those happy days/they seem so hard to find./ I try to reach for you/but you have closed your mind./ Whatever happened to our love/ I wish I understood./ It used to be so nice/ It used to be so good.
So when you're near me darling can't you hear me: SOS./The love you gave me, nothing else can save me: SOS./When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?/When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?
You seem so far away/though you are standing near./ You made me feel alive/but something died I fear./ I really tried to make it up/I wish I understood/ What happened to our love, it used to be so good.

The winner Takes it All:
I don't to talk about the things we've gone through/ Though it's hurting me/ Now it's history./ I've played all my cards/and that's what you've done too/ nothing more to say/ No more ace to play.
The winner takes it all/ the looser standing small/ Beside the victory/ that's her destiny./
I was in your arms/ thinking I belonged there./ I figured it made sense/ building me a fence./ Building me a home/ thinking I'd be strong there./ But I was just a fool/ playing by the rules./ The Gods may throw the dice/ their minds as cold as ice./ And someone why down here/looses someone dear.
The winner takes it all/ the looser has to fall./ It's simple and it's plain/why should I complain?
But tell me does she kiss/ like I used to kiss you?/ Does it feel the same/ when she calls your name?/Somewhere deep inside/ you must know I miss you./ But what can I say/ rules must be obeyed./ The judges will decide/ the likes of me abide./Spectators of the show/ always staying low./ The game is on again/ a lover or a friend?/ A big one or a small/ the winner takes it all.
I apologize/if it makes you feel sad/ and I understand/you've come to shake my hand./ I apologize/ if it makes you feel bad/ seeing me so tense/ no self-confidence/ but you see: the winner takes it all.