The not so Waste Land

[2thepoint]

"But I see little progress on her end. that's not to say it doesn't exist. The celibate lifestyle is not fun.

The thing that really is hard is that we get along GREAT now. I mean great. The Xmas vacation was totally awesome. We have good communication about things other than the R, we acknowledge little things we do for each other. I make her laugh again and she appears to be more comfortable around me. Perhaps she's afraid to upset that balance. Who knows?

But something has to be done. I don't want to be a WAS."

If I may be so bold Harrier, go back and re-read your post from 12/19. There you laid down some well thought out goals. One of which was to move back in the house. Now with that accomplished just a few days ago, you seem to be getting a little too anxious to move things along.

Recall also that one of your stated goals from the 19th was to not share the bed right away. I think that is a good goal. But, here you are lamenting the fact that all you are getting are bread crumbs. I would say that simply moving back in is a HUGE loaf of bread. So savor it, butter it up, put a little cinnamon on it if you like, but don’t eat it all in one sitting. Do you know what I am saying?

Look, I think your W is taking things one step at a time and so should you. Maybe it is time to reevaluate and establish a new set of goals.

Here’s an idea/goal. How about setting something up with your W where you both agree to spend a minimum of 30 minutes once a week to talk about your R. You get 15 minutes and she gets 15 minutes or structure it anyway you like. Talk about whatever you want but it has to be related to the R. Put it on the calendar so you don’t forget and you’ll both have something to prepare for and look forward to.

Perhaps you’ll find that it helps you to feel like things are progressing or evolving or whatever. Then what you both will be doing is laying the foundation for the real work ahead when you get to Retrovaille.

Just remember to have no expectation of things moving along any faster than they are. Don’t try to goose it along without your W in full agreement. Don’t move too fast or you run the risk of scaring your W and then you’ll be back to square one.

I hope this is helpful for you.