The not so Waste Land

[Harrier]

And I don't think Retrovaille is too soon. For one thing, the follow up program, which I HIGHLY recommend b/c one weekend won't fix all your stuff or last -

but the follow up DOES keep it going and it lasts for months...

seems to me that you'll get some tools for your marriage which you presently lack

and your mc is not providing you yet. It's hard to make a lot of progress with weekly meetings anyhow, b/c when I'd make a break through in therapy

I'd have to go home to the babies or back to work and I'd forget half of how I got to the breakthrough or the inisght. The next week I'd have to start all over.

My point is that even the best of mc's cannot compete with a full weekend of focussed work.

Good luck!

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I guess I mean too soon from a logistics point of view. I don't know the set up, but it would require childcare for 2 days on the weekend. We both live 2000 miles from our families so it would mean a babysitter or something else.

Ideally, I'd like to get a grandparent to come in for the weekend to visit and take care of the kids and Jan. 22 is probably too soon to get something set up.

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I've been doing A LOT of thinking about what has been said here. A lot. I don't feel I can move back into a situation that is the status quo. I've spent the last 3 nights at the house and each time my W goes to bed by herself and says "see you tomorrow" instead of "see you upstairs" it really drags on my emotions. I'm usually able to recover quickly.

I don't want bread crumbs, I don't want a roommate situation. I dont' expect us to instantly jump back into anything either. I'm realistic about the progress, but these last few weeks have been the most fun in a long time. I think I have made significant progress and the W has commented on it.

But I see little progress on her end. that's not to say it doesn't exist. The celibate lifestyle is not fun.

the thing that really is hard is that we get along GREAT now. I mean great. The Xmas vacation was totally awesome. We have good communication about things other than the R, we acknowledge little things we do for each other. I make her laugh again and she appears to be more comfortable around me. Perhaps she's afraid to upset that balance. Who knows?

But something has to be done. I don't want to be a WAS.