i told my daughter :"You did not do this! Nothing as stoped him from leaving before. He wasn't chained to me. You did not create this. IMO, you saved him. You gave his life a purpose. When you were born, he made the transaction from boy to man. He had a responsability and saw to it. He made sure that we had everything we needed in order for you to have a good life. He became A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND A GREAT DAD! If he felt that way, why would he father 3 more? Why would it take him 18 years to see he didn't want this? It doesn't make sense and you are a wonderful daughter. You are a good exemple for the others to follow. You are beautiful, responsable, you work hard, you have good grades, you surrounds yourself with good friends and i am proud of the young lady that you are.
Don't believe his story for a second. Did he seem unhappy to you? We all see that he is not himself lately. Look at it as a sickness but one that will take a long, LONG time to heal. He needs to work on himself."
A year later, after he repeated his story to her, i also repeated to her to look at it as a sickness and she replied: " I have tried but i can't do it anymore! " She was done with him.
The amazing thing with this is: she is the only one who goes on with her life without regards to his needs and wants. She doesn't cancel or make her activity fit into his schedule. She is no longer afraid to say no to him. If he gets angry, she has the attitude of: He deserved it! He still makes her pay but she knows he will, and she lets it slide right off her back. I wondered sometimes if an eye for an eye is the approach she was using but came to realize that NO. She doesn't get even, she just stand her ground. I wished i was like her, many times. I get strenght from her and she doesn't know it.
