WHG: When last we heard from our action hero...

[workinghardguy]

So last night I had a little epiphany perhaps... it combined what my IC has been saying and what others on here have said. It goes to the "parental voice" thing.

My IC's view is that my W is, or was, stuck developmentally. Her teenage abuse and abandonment issues left her back in those years emotionally. Which makes sense because that's who I've been attracted too... people who need saving and parenting. Anyway, during our M my W has grown. She's completed some schooling and is much more confident and assured than she ever was, though there are many ways she still isn't fully matured.

And lord knows I have used the "parental voice" more times that I care to admit in our M. When we started budgeting I put in a weekly spending money amount for my W... she referred to it as "her allowance." The few big fights we've had is when she's gotten mad at me for something and I've told her to "settle down" which is the same thing I tell the kids when they're hyper or agitated.

So what happens when a teenager gets some age and maturity and hits their late teens, early 20's? They leave the house and rebel against their parents. SO I wonder if some of this isn't my W rebelling against her parent-figure (me) to find her own identity.