Well, I've been here for over 10 years so I can tell you what worked for me.
Like your H, mine was involved with the kids but the majority of parenting fell to me. SInce our nasty D - I kept custody - youngest was 12. He saw them "when he could" and paid support "when he felt like it". Nail these things down in court.
Truth is - I was able to parent even easier without him in the picture contracting my decisions. Raising a teen girl who was devastated by her dad's departure was NOT EASY. But his anger and abusiveness would have made it worse and daughter and I somehow made it through those years and at 23 - she is a wonderful woman.
In many situations - co-parenting works out for the best. But it is not for everyone.
As for finances - I had a good job and a big dream house. I decided that (although I was doing fine with it) I should downsize. Bought a smaller house in the same neighbourhood so I had more savings for retirement and it all worked out for the best. I've since moved on with new man and have a big house again though LOL
Do whatever you can to increase your hours at work or your earning potential. Raising kids and especially educating them is very costly. But worth it. Everyone should work their hardest to be self sufficient because we never know what lies ahead. One thing is certain...
There are no guarantees in life.
Best wishes to you. Sounds like you have some New Years Resolutions in your head.
