Abusive - situation out of control.

[25yearsmlc]

Herb

I am sorry to see you here again in pretty much the same state as before.

So your question about how to get someone to trust you or what to say after you say you're sorry is

NOT A WORD...just DO things differently. You can SAY all the words you want but if you go right back and do the same things again

what's the point of all this pretense?

I mean I don't get it. You sound like you are an out of control bully who comes here with his tail between his legs and asks "how can I be nicer?"

like this is a mystery. Just stop bullying her.

Get some real help MEDICALLY b/c the anger management did NOT do it.

I'm a veteran and so are you. Okay so get the VA to help you out, and stop ignoring that request, please.

You may well need meds and intense therapy AND there is no shame in that, especially compared to what the alternative is...

So now, go get it.

I think rehashing the past is counter productive.. You feel you did a terrible thing. Okay...let it go. Or do something productive about it.

I know a man who ran over and killed a person when he was driving drunk 25 years ago...what should he have done after taking a life, killed himself? Marry a woman and abuse her?

He volunteers to speak at MADD gatherings a few times a year. It is all he can do about the past NOW, and he served the sentence he got long ago. He also married and became a father.

He is a good father to his children and a good h to his wife and he can celebrate the family life he has created TODAY...and be at peace that he has been forgiven by his God, and there is simply no constructive purpose in his wallowing in his past.

You are wallowing instead of changing. Why? What's in it for you?


What kind of absolution do you want here?

I asked before -- How about finding the daughter and telling HER you are sorry?? If not, then let it go.

To me, Those are your only options w/that.

What is it that you want? Be specific. No general "want to be happy"...

what does that look like?

Something in you is sabotaging your marriage but then you come here again and again after repeating the same actions/behaviors.

You MUST get your physical problems addressed to rule out any other condition that affects your mood b/c you sound as if you have a mood disorder & some odd Personality issues which btw are treatable!

but it's not something to ignore, which I think you realize.

correct???