L2L- I know that we all feel like should be punished for backsliding... but we are human. Sometimes we just can't stop ourselves, and that's ok. You are the only one who can decided if you did the right/wrong thing. If you didn't like how it made you feel or the outcome, then it probably wasn't the right thing. So you should just make a mental note of it and try to avoid it again, but don't punish yourself or think that this one action has determined if you will reconcile.
Someone told me on my post: It took a thousand of little actions and things for you M to come to this point, it will take another thousand little actions to bring it back together.

That's what reminds me that this is a LONG process... I have to remind myself daily that it took 7 years of marriage history to get us to this point, I can't undo all that anger and hurt in only 1 or 2 months.

I think that you did great by pointing out his efforts (keeping his job) instead of saying something catty like: "well, you could have dishes and microwave if you didn't decide to leave!" (even though you may have felt like it) AND good on you for doing a 180 by asking the question you may not like the answer to... That should start to give you a sense of power over your choices smile

You're doing great! Just get comfy on your roller coaster seat, you'll be there for a while smirk

M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12