living in limbo

[BFloat]

I have been exactly where you've been! A couple of weeks ago I discovered H had over 4000 txt msgs sent and received! I wondered who he could be txt'ing with that much since it certainly wasn't me. And then I had to ask the question too. It didn't go down well. H said he doesn't use phone.. Uses txt to keep in touch w/ friends.. Blah blah. In the end.. It would have been better not to have known at all.

I have refrained from really offering any help to my husband while he's away because that is part of my 180.. Do nothing. Stop feeling like I have to take care of everyone. Also I try to remind myself, H chose to leave and he should see that it's not as fun and easy as he seems to think it will be if separation becomes permanent. Maybe my behaviour is vindictive? I'm not sure.

I don't think you've settled. Life changes us. Kids change us. I think our values and ideals change as we become more aware of the consequences of all our decisions. In the past, cheating would have been a deal breaker for me. But because of my son, I chose to try to work things out. Now with his current issues, I would probably leave if we didn't have kids. But for them, i feel that I want to try to do whatever I can to try and work on or marriage. In doing so, have to remember I can only control my own actions. But at least I could say.. I tried.