I guess I'm just kinda confused... You say now that you only threatened divorce a few times... Yet when you first came to the board you were convinced that you threatening divorce led to your w actually filing....
...... So were you taking too much of the blame then or are you rewriting history now?? It is a serious question and one I would suggest looking at
Because if you threatening D did play a part in your sitch now then know that it was MORE than only a few times. A few times wouldn't be enough for your w to act this way.
It would be built up over a long period of time. And while those feelings were building up, she was pulling away. She was creating distance.
Think about it. If you were upset, and your spouses response to your feelings were "maybe we should get a divorce" how would you react?
I would shut up. I mean even if I was angry, I would think that I couldn't express my feelings because if I did... There would be a threat. I would feel like I couldn't talk to my spouse.
I would get quiet and then because I couldn't tell them how I feel I would get angry.. Maybe even resent my spouse a little.
Do you see where I am going Rick??
I'm not saying that your wife isn't quiet.. Or that she isn't a distant person..... ....... But if you are not recognizing how you contributed to that distance... You are missing the mark.
You don't have to take full ownership of it... Just your part... And that is the part you CAN control. That is the part you can CHANGE.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
