Your sit is so similar to mine it's spooky! Right down to the "Married 28 yrs."
Is there still hope? All I can say is that I still have hope, though I'm not holding my breath. My W never filed, though she once sat me down to figure out how we were going to tell the kids. I didn't do anything to stop her except that I refused to agree that a D was inevitable.
Her last word on the subject was that she wanted a D so she could have sex again. ***OUCH***
I joined the boards 10 years ago, and things got steadily worse since then. My W moved into my daughter's room when D26 moved out two years ago. She no longer wears her wedding ring either, and I don't like it one little bit either.
Yep! It stinks!
Wish I could say that there's light at the end of the tunnel, but from my experience, if you give her space, she'll take it, and that's about it. On the bright side, my W is cordial to me now. A small step, but significant.
Ultimately, I truly believe that it's not over until you say it's over.
I used to believe that we had the ideal M. Obviously, my W ended up thinking differently. She suffered in silence. Typical WAW trajectory. And now it’s my turn to suffer in silence.
The only thing I can tell you is that ya gotta stick to your convictions. You believe in your M, or you wouldn’t be here. I can't believe that my W (or yours) can cling to the idea that everything is our fault, and that they bear no responsibility for the R.
If you don't give her any ammo to feed her resentment, and project a positive image, then she's gotta wake up and smell the roses sooner or later. It took the shock of having the bomb drop on you for you to come around, right? You can’t drop a bomb on her, so it’s gonna take more time for her to realize that there’s a lot of good to go along with the bad. You’ve got a lot of years together. Can she really just throw it all away?
