Doing the "Friends" Route Pt 2...

[Abbey]

V, H admits he has some weird weakness when it comes to the OW, and has asked what "might and might not" work with regards to breaking it off. (He wants me to come with him to pick up daughter because he just doesn't want the confrontation and the clutchy whinging behavior of OW in front of his daughter.) (There is other stuff that has happened in the last two days that I haven't posted about, but it was a very big indicator of why a lawyer is on his lips and why he wants me there with him.)

Understand too, that the two of us are in a business together as well as "friends". (He put his arm around me last night and said, so ... you STILL want to raise Daughter, together... because I can think of nothing better than raising her with my best and longest life long friend. He also then told me he`s in love with me for about the 3rd of 4th time in as many days). Anyhooo... We bounce off ideas and "tell" each other stuff all the time. It's just the nature of how we've always done things. Nothing emasculated where this part of our lives is concerned. (Sex starved before, yes... that for him was QUITE emasculating, as was the lack of touch or flirty interest). It flows the other way too, where in business, he's got 15 years more experience in our biz than I do. (You should have seen the fur fly when we bought another type of biz where I had the experience. THAT didn't work out so well.)

To illustrate the fact though in more real terms, that I'm not "telling him" anything.... today without any prompting from me or anyone... he simply told her straight out: After several months, it's clear that nothing has changed from 3 years ago. I won't live like you do, I can't live like you do, and we're not going to be a couple. I just have zero interest.

Uhm... as my T said, accentuate the positive. And so my comments: I think you said that wisely. He asked about something she said to him. My comment: You'll need to set those boundaries and STICK with them. (unsaid): OW clearly has a hard time with understanding no. (He calls her Jeckle and Hyde).

Dealing with who and what the OW is, isn't about parenting at all unfortunately. Borderline personality disorder, attachment issues, etc etc etc...

We`re getting there, I just know that he`s got a 50 50 chance of slipping once or twice before it holds. He might not... but his own words about "weird weakness" and not knowing "what" the attraction is to her - other than the emotions he first felt when he found out that they actually do share a daughter.

Abs