Don't know how much longer I can endure this!

[tested metal]

It would be definately separate checks.

I would prefer she either call or send e-mail. I am just so sick of the lying and I am working right now on letting my anger off in a healthy manner that I don't think that now is the time to be talking to her in person besides the 5 min. drop off/pickup with D.

[Mach1]

I would prefer she either call or send e-mail. I am just so sick of the lying and I am working right now on letting my anger off in a healthy manner that I don't think that now is the time to be talking to her in person besides the 5 min. drop off/pickup with D.

So, you are worried about how YOU would come across ????

I think that is a very valid point you have realized.....

And maybe you have your answer....


And maybe use that time, working on how you get past that....

[tested metal]

Thanks Mach!

I just think it is still so fresh and I am still angry about how she has treated me. I need to detach more and if she is still around to talk after I have taken care of myself then so be it. Otherwise further damage may be done, to both of us.

I am also worried about getting hurt again by some cockamaimied thing she'll come up with next. But I guess that is my choice whether to feel hurt or not by it.

[tested metal]

Today W was very pleasant. She wanted to talk about her new job and discussed taking over medical insurance for her and D. I asked her a couple questions about the coverage, which she kept saying "I Don't know."

I told her that I wanted complete info. on insurance coverage before handing over health insurance responsibilities for D as I need to make sure that it was the bast decision for her.

Lately she has been acting like the W I met and married. Today she showed up to drop off D without the nose ring. She also is getting a job which has benefits.

I am pretty sure the OM is still in the picture though and I am very cautious as I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

As for myself, I exercised again today and felt great. I also have let the voicemail take W's calls as she has been calling and texting me like crazy regarding D, but it is about things that have either already been discussed or could be sent via e-mail per HER request. It seems like she can't even follow her own rules! Go figure!

I am feeling better about standing my ground about what i want to do. I also have been looking at past posts and see the roller coaster ride I am still on and am trying to work on myself to get off the rails! I am proud that that am noticing my own pattern of keeping on the coaster. That might be the first step. I still have a LONG way to go.

[tested metal]

Hello all! I figured today instead of me B*&)(&thing about W's behavior I would do something different and in the spirit of New Years post my goals/"resolutions" for this year. As vague as some may be....
1. Exercise 4 x a week.
2. Drop weight to 170 lbs.
3. Drink more water and less pop.
4. Go to confession.
5. Go to church weekly.
6. Start a budget.
7. Clean and restring guitar.
8. Save for an apartment deposit.
9. Set firm boundaries with W and stick to them.
10. Pray everyday.
11. Practice guitar 4 x a week.
12. FORGIVE!!!!
13. Educate self for higher licensure.
14. Apply for and obtain a better job. (if possible)
15. Bleach teeth.
16. Make a will.
17. Get life insurance for D and me.
18. Explore the source issues of my anxiety when asked to do something in short notice that changes my plans.

[tested metal]

So a question for you all...

Today I heard a rumor from reliable sources that OM proposed to W this week with a big engagement ring. I also heard that he was b%*^&*ing that her dad bought her a new car, which he can't compete with. I also heard that he said he would never marry again) after 3 times already).

My thought is that if W wants a divorce, she should pay for it. She wants a stipulated divorce, which i can't pay for already so why not make her do the work?

i don't want to seem as controlling, but seriously, this is something i do not want, and I can't afford it.

She has been pretty friendly lately to me which makes me wonder if she is buying into this....

As for me i am keeping to my goals and am feeling good.

[tested metal]

Goal #19. No matter how much I hurt regarding WAW's actions,and if others start to talk about WAW's actions with me,
NO MORE WAW BASHING!!!

It does me no good; only makes the situation worse; and puts me in a mindset to divorce.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Not sure where you're question was from the other day Metal.

But if it was: "Should I help her get a divorce?"

If you don't want one?

No.

No help at all.

As for the OM and rumors?

Similar to your #19 goal, it does you little good and ruins your frame of mind.

You dwell on him and he starts living in your head.

Is he a POS? Yup, is he the lowest of the low? Yup...yup yup yup yup. Look I'll agree with almost everything you say about him, but if you're letting him in your head? You're losing here.

Attacking him also does you little good. You don't need to point out that poop smells. Everyone knows that.

[tested metal]

Last night I had an epiphany. I was called to the ER by WAW because D had a fever of 103 degrees. Long story short D has ear infection.

As I was there with WAW, I had no feelings for her. This was the first time I have been with her more than 2 minutes when we exchange D. My main concern was on daughter the whole time.

WAW told me aout what she got D for x-mas and I listened. All I did was listen.

When I got home I realized that I was so afraid of losing WAW, that I have been letting my life work around HER schedule and wants. I also realized that why am I afraid of losing something I don't have already? It was that moment that I decided to truely GAL, for ME.

I think that I took walking through that fire of fear of spending a little time with WAW to know if I could handle it or not.

Today I completed goal #7 Restringing the Guitar. When the strings stretch I will start to play it.

I decided to look at gyms by next week and get a membership.

The main thing is that I decided to FINALLY put my M in God's hands, since it is out of mine anyway.

I will not push for a D, unless I want it and feel ready for it. I will stand for my marriage.

I also realized that I will not accept stagnation in my career. I have now been aggressively pursuing my higher licensure by doing what is in my control, which is meeting the education requirements. If my employer is not able to help me with the necessary supervision, (which they would if they had appropriate supervisors in the area) I will either find the supervisor my self or get a job where they will assist me towards this goal.

These are big changes for me, but are much needed. I am very excited about this year already!

[tested metal]

Interesting.. I have not been answering calls lately and when I have it has been sporadic at best. The interesting thing is that WAW, after giving me the riot act about texting her (yes it was an emergency at the time) has increased her texting and calling everyday, and requests that I call her "If I want too." She is acting like the old W, but she is still wearing the brand new ring from OM and is still seeing him.

Is she just curious? Peeping out a little?

Part of me wants to have contact with her to keep communication open, and half of me wants to crawl under a rock and just be left alone.

Right now I am taking it day by day and doing what I want, not worrying what she thinks about me or what I am doing. I don't want to seem cold either though.

Suggestions? How do other handle this in their sitch?