I so can relate to your posts regarding how you feel around your ex. The way he makes you feel, the interactions you have, etc....
Change the dynamic. Don't let him take that power from you. Figure out ways when you talk with him that you don't participate in the roller coaster. As time goes on, you will slowly take back your power and he will witness the changes.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
