I just remembered something. While ML Christmas night, he looked at me and said he didn't want it to end. He had never said that before in that way, though of course most guys don't want that to end . Then afterward during our heartfelt talk, he said it felt like a goodbye. So many things that he's saying and doing show that he isn't wanting this on some level, but feels that it's the right thing to do I did need a catalyst to wake myself up, but it's happened now. If he came back, I would not stop with school, work, breaking the codependency...all of it. When I've explained that to him (while he brought up the R), he goes back to saying that we need time apart. I'm going to make the best of it. It's better than wallowing in my own agony. Hopefully if he decides to not come back, I'll be able to accept it and move on.
He's mentioned a few times that the talk afterward meant a lot to him. He's not angry with me for all of the controlling and dependent behavior anymore. I'm not very angry with him anymore, either. We were just so young and clueless.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
. Then afterward during our heartfelt talk, he said it felt like a goodbye. So many things that he's saying and doing show that he isn't wanting this on some level, but feels that it's the right thing to do 
I did need a catalyst to wake myself up, but it's happened now. If he came back, I would not stop with school, work, breaking the codependency...all of it. When I've explained that to him (while he brought up the R), he goes back to saying that we need time apart. I'm going to make the best of it. It's better than wallowing in my own agony. Hopefully if he decides to not come back, I'll be able to accept it and move on. 