Such a good reminder Antler.. thanks for posting... I needed the reminder.
Rick - Sorry you are struggling buddy. Holidays are definitely not my favorite time of year this year.. and adding a Birthday on top of... eesh.
I'm curious to know why you chose not to do anything at all? I mean - couldn't it have come from your daughter...
I am not saying to use your daughter to pursue your wife.. but if you reread Antler's above... what would be the harm to ask your daughter if she still wanted to buy the gift card for your w... or ask if she wanted to do something instead?
I mean - are you encouraging your D to still love her mom even through all of this?
How hard would it be to put your Daughters wants and needs for this special day ahead of your? I bet not hard... but you gotta make that happen. And keep yourself and your pain out of it... because it actually has NOTHING to do with you.
I hope that makes sense
Also - I'm just curious... did your DB coach tell you to use the LRT? It just seems to me that if you were an angry person who through out the D word every time you got upset, not talking to her wouldn't be much of an 180....
.... I couldn't be wrong and I'm definitely not a DB coach but I just wonder how distancing yourself more... when you were already distant to begin with... is a 180..
Maybe I'm also reading into your words wrong too. I know you can't get your wife to talk or open up.. but you have a D... I mean.. my w and I don't have children and we still have plenty to talk about it seems.
Do you feel like what you are doing is working?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
