How do you let go? Calling it quits.

[workinghardguy]

WGH and ladybug, i really dont think the boys are a danger to me

Hope... I spent six years working at a in-residence boot camp school for at-risk youth. Quite frankly, most of the boys there sound exactly like your stepsons... I even remember we frequently would have twins attending. My role was as a drill sergeant and then as the supervisor of the drill sergeants.

So just my insight and experience talking here... I can't tell you how many times I've heard your words come out of the mouth of a stepparent. But it was slightly different... it was, "I really never thought they'd be a danger to me until...". I'm saying all it takes is one moment, one incident, etc... And they don't even have to have intent. High on some drug or another... drunk and without their full faculties... whatever the reason. Just be very careful. At-risk teenagers are a powder keg. You didn't create the mess and god bless you for wanting to stick it out.

But if H doesn't want it, I would suggest you look deep inside yourself and figure out why you're drawn to this sort of drama and situation.

And I say this from experience. I fell in love with a manic depressive single mom with two small kids, a PITA XH, and a binge drinking problem. I've come to realize I did that because I have a need to "save" people and "fix" them to feel validated. I am now working on that so my next R, whether that is with my estranged W or with someone else, doesn't follow the same script.