JustStunned, you are right. I am mind-reading and being negative. I know i need to stop but cant seem to help myself. This was always my biggest problem with DBing, for both marriages.
Leaving, focusing on a new future and having some hope is a complete 180 for me because i really feel just broken, hopeless, negative, defensive, hurt and alone. Trying to fake it til i make it, failing at it.
I dont know if i should start packing today or not. I told H i was going to this week so if i dont, i look like i didnt mean it and im just cowering again to make peace. If i do, i dont know if will blow up the situation worse. Now, i dont even know when i will be moving or if my family is backtracking on letting me live at my grandmothers.
I am going to go work out, another 180 since i havent done that in 6 months because im afraid to make a hernia worse. Hitting the treadmill, so mzybe that will be ok. I need to get my mind clear. And i need to eat something, which i havent done since the bomb 2 days ago. I wish i didnt let all this get to me like it does.
Hopefully i can fix computer today to catch up with everyone and not have all typos i do on the mobile.
Thank you everyone.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
