Yes there are some serious red flags, but nothing concrete which is confusing. You don't delete like that unless you are hiding something, obviously. I think I have come to a conclusion that regardless of whether there is an EA or PA or OW, that is not the bottom line. The bottom line he has been a WAS for 10 months. He has been distant and mooody, recreating history, downright mean to me, affecting the mood of the house, etc.
I was working on detaching before and doing just ok at it, not great. When I saw the red flags yesterday I was able to fully detach and quite easily. I got sad for a few minutes and then I got downright angry. I didn't show him, but I didn't respond to him at all. He texted me at the end of the day saying "i got the sense you didn't want to be bothered today at all, so I didn't"
I told him that I would be going out with a friend last night and the kids were all taken care of. He said "have fun'
Last night when I got home, he said hello and said "i'm going to bed". I hung out with the kids for a while watching basketball.
This morning, he was trying to be affectionate, just hugging me before he got up for work. Wouldn't let go and actually made himself late for work. I didn't respond, but didn't push him away at all. When he tried to kiss me, I kissed his forehead. He said "I love you" almost in a sad and questioning way. He said it repeatedly.
Today I am working part time and visiting some family that I didn't see over Christmas, with the boys. He asked me to pass on his best.
So as I am drinking my coffee, he called on his way to work. He apologized for going to bed right away and said "I can imagine how that must have looked, as if I didn't want to see you. It was not my intention, I was exhausted and had a few drinks while you were out"
I thanked him and said it was nice of him to call.
I am still feeling extremely detached, it has never felt this easy which makes me a bit uneasy. I feel almost numb today.
My plan is to enjoy my father and my kids today. Nothing else.
Tomorrow is the anniversary party so I have a lot of last minute planning to do, meeting the caterer, etc. I'm happy to do it for my IL's, they are good people.
