Ugh. I'm sorry. I've been there, and lived the anxiety of every red flag waving, but nothing absolutely concrete. It makes for an incredibly stressful life, especially when coupled w/a moody, anxious husband.
I have to admit, I thought I might have pushed you away from here, in stressing the need to get to the truth. I'm so glad you posted an update.
The saying, "The truth will set you free." is incredibly appropriate here.
- if he's innocent, you're dealing w/a possible WAS and need to use a different set if tools in DBing - if he's guilty, you have some choices to make. The first being... Can you forgive infidelity again? If so, the affair needs to be blown wide open, and dealt with, to see his desires for moving forward. If not, you need to get to a L BEFORE you react, and let him know of your desires/actions.
How are the boys? I know they're sensitive to your feelings/moods, and know Dads behavior is the base of the problems... That's a lot for them to carry, as they intrinsically want/need to rely on and trust both parents, and they're not little guys anymore.
I'm glad you're through the stress of the holidays, and being present w/relatives.
Funny you mention your IL's party. We were planning and throwing my parents 40th anniversary at about the same time. I look at the pics now, and see the sorrow behind my eyes. . They had no idea...
Be well my friend. Keep us posted.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
. They had no idea...
