What Do I Do? Help!

[leopoldstotch]

Hello DBer's. I've been married to my W for over 19yrs. I'm 43 the W is 42. We have two S 14 & 22. I can best describe our marriage as love/hate. We seperated three yrs into our M (1995) because things were bad and during that seperation I found out my W cheated on me. We ended up getting back together and things were good for a while.

Then in 2003-2004 we seperated once again and it was the same thing she cheated on me with a co-worker and that affair ended but I ended up moving out of the house and into my parents. When that happened I ended up seeing another woman and it destroyed my W. We ended up getting back together again and now here we are in 2011 and it's going down the tubes again.

Back in Sept I realized that my W and I were really growing apart. She would do her thing and I would do mine. We didn't go to parties together or friends houses or movies etc. I bought it to her attention that I didn't want to become an old married couple who were just room mates. Sex at this point is non-exsistent.

These are the things that I have been told by my W. She has said that if we didn't have our first S we never would have married. She says she only has stayed married to me becase of her father who told her that since we were married in the Catholic Church that we shouldn't get divorced and that we have to work things out. She told me that before her mother passed away that her mother told her that I would never change. She has within the last few days told me that she feels like I'm trying to buy her love (I bought her some expensive gifts for her birthday.) She has also said that because I have changed I expect everyone else to change and as recent as last night she lashed out at my 14 S telling him that she doesn't want to be told what to do and that she can do what she wants when she wants.

So at this point I don't know what to do to try to salvage this mess if it can even be done. I have the DR book so I don't know if it's LRT time or what time it is. I know I've been depressed, crying at times, sick to my stomach etc. Please help me! Thank you