Piecing...um, yeah.

[BFloat]

i came upon your post because i was doing a search for retrouvaille! i'm so sorry you find yourself here but it really is such a great place to find support isn't it?

your story struck a cord with me because there are many similarities between your story and mine. although my H has not agreed to work things out.. yet.. he has agreed to retrouvaille (which isn't until april). his decision could change between now and then but at least there is something to look forward to with a little.. hope? in the meantime, i'm trying to figure out the best way to proceed. which is probably with caution.

"My thinking with the divorce is that either we work it out or I'm done. It's not a tactic. I just want to move on with my life with or without her."

i feel this way all the time and unfortunately, when i am in that mind state, i am looking for an answer and try to push and force the issue even though i know that we both need time to heal. so what ends up happening? everything gets very heated.. i try to pressure him to answer by forcing his hand.. and then we all end up losing. because i have noticed that i tend to back people in a corner. then my H answers one way (usually, i don't think there's any hope. things won't chance.. blah blah..) but then he says stuff the next minute that makes me think there are glimmers of hope.

i guess what i'm saying is.. it's hard to take a step back but so important to do. because sometimes, we just end up saying stuff that we don't really mean.

hang in there!