Too little, Too late.

[purgatory]

Thanks ladies!!!

My first day at my parents house:
My parents really want to distract me and keep me busy. While I know they have good intentions, I've had to tell them a few times that I just want a chance to sit with my feelings- because I've never been able to do that in my home since I always have the kids to keep me busy. They seem to respect that, but don't understand.

I got my hair done with my old stylist- that was a nice couple of hours getting pampered. They also made plans to go out to dinner so I had to get dressed up and put on a smile.

I feel really overwhelmed by my sorrow here. I think it's simply because this is the first time I've really had the opportunity to give into my sadness without worrying about it affecting my responsibilities. My family seems to be staring at me for every move I make. I know they are worried about me, but I want to just tell them to let me be sad if I want to!

My H called me 3 times today... in the morning so I could talk to the boys since I got in too late last night, once around lunch 'just to see how I was doing' and then at bedtime for the boys again- but he and I also talked for a little while. I could tell that he wasn't enjoying himself based on his responses, but he would never admit that to me.

A big day of shopping at the outlet malls are planned for tomorrow, then movies on friday and I have a massage scheduled on saturday.... see what I mean about my family trying to keep me busy to stay distracted?!