What else could I have done?

[25yearsmlc]

Antlers

You seem to want more interaction than your d's can handle atm. So give them more time away, without interference or ANY unsolicited feedback from you -

and when you do interact w/them, you will handle it a lot better. THAT will improve the r's and your happiness level will improve when you feel closer to your loved ones. Your desire to pull them toward you, is not going to work now. So don't do it.

Plus, you're going to have to prove your love for them by backing off and letting go of the illusion you had of control. The more you tried to control, the worse things got. So, you love them, right? Okay then back off...be patient...much more patient...

These goals can be met but they need TIME & consistent behavior from YOU. You can control this!

Here's a blurb about Detachment I saw & thought you'd find useful.
It's GOOD STUFF...

"This was originally posted by Peanut.
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II. Detachment
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Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship. Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done.

Our ego gets wounded and we are more inclined to those actions that will undermine our very best chances of accomplishing our goals. We can not control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions.

We are responsible for our own happiness. If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love.

Met with love we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals. On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse/significant others. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.

Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, ‘I am not getting what I want so I must pull back.’ It is the natural acceptance that I am alone responsible for how I act. I can not control another person, but I can control how I respond to them."
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